


blue, blue eyes

by efrondeur



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9928271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/efrondeur/pseuds/efrondeur
Summary: What would you doif you ever knewthe man you desperately lovenever thinks the same of you?





	

**Author's Note:**

> so the poem in the beginning just kinda popped into my head last night and then this just kinda.... wrote itself....

_ What would you do _

_ if you ever knew _

_ the man you desperately love _

_ never thinks the same of you? _

\----------

Vanilla sugar and pine sprayed twenty times too many fills his dreams. A warmth he’s only felt a handful of times burn into his skin. A voice so enthusiastic and endearing he hears it, even when alone. A face so gentle he wants to hit him just to see if he had the capability of being angry.

He longs to touch him, more than just a pat on the back after a fight. Craves the feeling of his lips against his own. Is desperate for the feeling of his smooth face in his hands. Wants to call him his own, and himself his.

But it’s just not that easy. No, not for him. Never for him. 

He has no feelings for him. Never even shown any liking towards men. So he stays in his corner. Stays away from a ruined friendship and broken bond. Away from a broken heart and a blotchy, red face. Away from everything, especially  _ him. _

 

* * *

 

He feels his resolve cracking, crumbling right in front of his eyes. 

He’s tried everything. He’s tried doing the little touches he’s seen in the movies. Shy smiles. Getting caught staring. Letting his face flush and not trying to hide it. He’s tried sitting too close, talking a little too much, spending too many hours with him, but nothing works.

He moves away from touches, looks away from smiles, doesn’t care about staring, doesn’t notice  _ anything. _ He laughs things off. Scoffs at gentle jabs. Brushes every bone thrown at him away like mere bread crumbs.

He could try harder, or deal with it head on - after all, blunt is  _ his thing _ \- but it feels wrong. He knows what he wants, but he just  _ can’t _ go after it, not directly at least. There’s some barrier holding him back. Something he doesn’t understand. Something that doesn’t want him to understand.

But he needs to. It’s eating away at him. This crush or infatuation or whatever it is, its - it’s too much. It’s piling on, sinking him, not even giving him the chance to save himself.

He’s sitting on the sidelines, waiting - dying - to be let in, but he knows if he goes too early, pushes too hard, he’ll be thrown out instead.

So he waits. He tries to understand. Tries to figure it out, but there’s not much longer until that  _ something _ folds. Until everything inside him gives and he tests that barrier. Until he learns what it is holding him back.

 

* * *

 

Blue, blue eyes, bright as the coast, deep as the ocean, speckled with seafoam and a laugh just tapering off find his own.

They’re all here - everyone - but he’s cracked. That laugh, that smile, that pure, uninhibited  _ joy… _ it’s too much. It made his heart soar, lifted the corners of his mouth, brought a small laugh of his own out. He feels light until he doesn’t. Until he realizes that he only gets to hear that, see that, be a  _ part _ of that on very certain occasions. Only when everyone is around, never when alone.

His heart plummets. His resolve cracks. His body reacts before he mind thinks. His hand is reaching out for a shoulder he’s given friendly pats to one-hundred times too many.

“Yeah?” he asks, corner of his mouth still curved as the other comes down to rest. A tongue darts out, pulling his bottom lip in as he waits for an answer. His teeth scrape against it as it pops out of his mouth, smirk slowly fading. 

He can’t help himself. He wishes beyond everything that he could. Wishes beyond everything that what happens never does. Wishes beyond everything that he could forget - that they could  _ all _ forget.

But it’s never easy, no, not for him. Never for him.

His lips are as soft as he’s always imagined, even as they still under his own. His breath as sweet as candy, even as it hitches with the press. His skin as warm as a fire under his palm, even as he freezes.

He pulls away gently, a soft, barely there smacking noise deafening his ears. He sighs, air mingling in the small space between them. He presses his nose into the hollow of his cheek, unable to keep himself away from the smooth skin.

“Keith?” 

It’s not even him that says it. It’s Hunk.

He doesn’t even realize he’s closed his eyes until they snap open.

He’s in front of him, blue, blue eyes distant but sharp, searching his own. A frown mars his face, confusion lingering just behind it. Keith pulls his hands back from where they rest on his chest and jaw, snapping them to his sides.

He turns his head, jaw working as a heat works its way from his ears, down his neck, all the way to his chest. 

He knew what he wanted. He took it. Now he has to face the consequences. Now he has to know how wrong he was to do it. Now he has to know why he wouldn’t love him. Why he messed up. Why he lost his friend. Why he’ll slowly lose the rest.

He hears a shuffling behind him. A door opens, then closes, taking the shuffling along with it.

Silence surrounds them, encasing them. His ears start searching for something, anything, but all he can hear is the pounding in his ears as he waits. And waits.

And waits.

But he doesn’t say anything to Keith. Not a word.

Maybe he’ll walk out and they can forget. Maybe he needs his time. Maybe he wants Keith to go first. Maybe he just doesn’t care enough. It’s not like Keith’s meant all that much to him. It’s not like he’s ever spared him more than a smirk or a laugh or a jab. 

So, it… it was fear holding him back. Fear that not only does he not have feelings for Keith, but doesn’t even care about him as a friend. Doesn’t think of him as anyone but someone to fight. To take out his frustration until he feels fulfilled. Someone to make him want to be better, if only in the moment. Someone who is more a tool than a person.

Maybe that’s all he is.

Blue, blue eyes close, shoulders lifting as he takes a deep breath, then blink back open. They flick between his own as if one will know something the other doesn’t. As if one holds the key and the other the treasure. As if Keith doesn’t feel everything in him weigh more and more with each movement.

“Why?” he whispers.

“You know why,” whispers Keith.

Blue, blue eyes look down, searching the floor. “But I don’t. You hate me, Keith.”

“I  _ never _ have. You made yourself think that. Not me.”

Blue, blue eyes fix on his own.

“But you never want to be around me.”

“And what makes you think that?”

“I - I…” He sighs. “You’re never around anymore.”

“Because you reject every move I make. Because you scoff at my flirts and go running after Hunk whenever I try to have a real conversation with you. Because I tried putting my heart on my sleeve for you, but you brushed it off like it was nothing.”

“Keith, I did - I didn’t -”

“You didn’t mean to lead me on, whatever. It’s fine. I guess I just wanted you to know.”

“No, Keith -”

“Just leave it.”

And with that, he turns, ready to follow the others. Ready for Pidge’s questions and Shiro’s quiet glare. For Hunk’s worry and Coran’s gentle reassurance. For Allura’s redirection and forgetting about this forever.

But a cry stops him. A sound he’s hoped he’d never have to hear. His name. Short and sweet. Wet and uncontained. Desperate and scared.

He wishes it doesn’t have the hold over him that it does. Wishes that he doesn’t immediately freeze, head slightly turning towards it. Wishes the sniffs and tears plopping against the cold, metal ground would die out. He could deal with a cold rejection. With a  _ no _ or  _ you think I would love you _ or  _ leave _ but no. 

It’s not easy; no, not for him. Never for him.

Arms wind themselves around his waist. A trembling body presses itself against his back. Tears fall onto his neck, shuddering breaths drying them where they land.

“I didn’t know, Keith. I didn’t know.  _ I didn’t know _ ,” he repeats. A broken record, unable to stop without a careful hand gently removing the needle without damaging it any further.

Keith’s hands find his, carefully taking them in his own. 

He takes a deep breath, heart clenching in his chest as he builds a wall around it. He gives himself this moment: reveling in the warmth behind him, the sheer emotion pouring out, the  _ care _ behind every action, but he knows it’ll end. He gives himself this but readies for the end. For the dagger that he won’t let pierce his heart. 

“I didn’t think you liked me, Keith. I thought you hated me. I like you. I _ like you _ . Please, just trust me. I like you. I didn’t want to hurt you. Keith, I’m  _ so _ sorry. I like you,” his voice tapers off, nothing more than a hoarse whisper by the last sentence, trembles giving way to goosebumps. Keith feels them against his skin, a slight shiver running through the warm body behind him.

Keith’s eyes slip closed, head falling back onto a sharp shoulder. A head digs its way into the juncture of his neck, small, wet kisses placing themselves lightly against his skin.

Clearing his throat, Keith swallows. “We spend time together - get to know each other -  before anything happens.”

He nods profusely against Keith’s neck. “Of course. Anything.” There’s a trailing  _ but _ following it.

Keith hums, starting low and ending lower, eyes still closed.

“I didn’t… get much of a chance to kiss you back. Can we try, just one more time? Then we go slow.”

Pretending not to feel his heart start to quicken, Keith nods.

He stands up straight, the arms around him unraveling as he turns, facing those watery, red-rimmed, blue, blue eyes once more. Placing his hands on his chest and jaw, Keith leans forward, sighing slightly when he feels him do the same. 

His eyes slip closed once again as warm, wet, slightly swollen lips meet his own. Their noses bump, but Keith corrects it with a tilt of the head. He pushes fractionally harder against him, wanting more, but not taking it. Lips push back against his own with a hitching breath. A tear brushes against Keith’s hand on his jaw only moments before another joins it. 

Pulling back, Keith’s thumb swipes at the next. Kisses away the next. Kisses the track left until he reaches a closed eye, lashes wet and stuck together. He places a gentle kiss on it, before moving away, out of reach.

“It’s okay, Lance. From now on, we learn each other. Then we can start new. I promise”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and criticisms are love!!
> 
> feel free to come talk with me on [my tumblr](https://shiros-eyes.tumblr.com/) or [my twitter](https://twitter.com/thememewrites)


End file.
